Secrets With This One

I run my finger cross your throat
let it linger in fantasy
as you snore into our sheets
you whore, you fucking beast

I keep waiting
for a reason to let you keep living
keep waiting
for you to give me like I've given
but all you ever do is take
I open my heart to you
and all you ever do is break

I push hard on your jugular
tears streaming down
fears screaming out
and it's clear I can't keep lovin ya

Gotta break you
like you have broken me
You and your secrets
yet i love you openly
like i have nothing to hide
I could cut you
and make it look like suicide

I wrestle with these thoughts so vile
they'd turn your gut like stomach bile
and all the while
you snore on with no regrets
breaking me down
with your lies and secrets...


For my dear girl... You really don't have to go through this alone... Late night texts?.. Love you. W.

A Space Walk

You could strip away everything beautiful about her
yet still be awed by her imperfections
or study Yeats, Chaucer and Shakespeare
but not know poetry til she blessed your temple
with a kiss
rested your head on her bosom
and swooned
"I'm where you belong."

Look you could travel back in time
to when we were kings
and rule over every man and beast in the jungle
triumphantly pounding your chest
but it'd beat hollow
cos you know what it means
to be ruled by a lioness
and to hear her roar
"I'm where you belong."

Or you could even become an astronaut
and dedicate your days
to finding your way to the moon
and as soon as you landed there
be struck by the awesome closeness
of a galaxy of stars
yet never wander too far
cos you'd miss the sparkle in her eyes
drawing you back to earth
like gravity whispering
"I'm where you belong."

And you could find your way back to school
and work your ass off
and earn a PhD in Botany
where you'd lose your senses
in the petals of jasmines and orchids
and endless research
that would lead you to sell your life away
and move to a grass-thatched hut in the wilds
of that tiny island in the Caribbean
where the sweetest flowers grow
all in your impossible quest
to create a perfume
sweet enough to capture the essence
of her voice
when she pulls you close
looks you unwaveringly in the eye
with her sparkling pair
and professes
"I'm where you belong."

Man you could live to a hundred
and in that time do no wrong
you could raise a family with her
pay your taxes and never litter
you could drive a hybrid
and give up red meat and sweets
you could start a soup kitchen
and keep your nails clipped
and always say "please" and "thank you"
and you could be the very best
you had it in you to be
and maybe

just maybe

you'd earn the right
to respond in kind
when she declares
"I'm where you belong."


For whom I dream of belonging to, W.

In Ten Days

If in the next ten days
this city should crumble apart
then that gives me just ten days
to clean out the mess in my heart
and admit:
I can't see passed You
and I don't wanna turn away

The mass dissent rumbles quiet
and on the news
as in church pews
they preach, The Jungle will RIOT
so You have to know:
I can't see passed You
and I don't wanna turn away

There'll never be a convenient time for this
the world's falling to pieces
and I'm blind to it
cos I can't see passed You
can't turn and run
can't hide
where would I go
that could feel so alive?

Where could they drag me
on hands and knees
torture me for ten days
ignore my pleas
spit at me
break my bones
make me swear
to leave You alone?

They'd get nothing

For ten days they could starve me
and I would hardly
register pangs of hunger
cos I'd look at You
and the spell I'd come under
would drown out the war in the streets
and all there'd be
is the stubborn soles of Your feet
the curiosity of Your navel
and the weightlessness of Your laugh
lifting me safely above the chaos

And on that tenth day
the day of my death
as they, in frustration, inevitably
relent and put an end to me
I'll turn to You
with my steadfast thought
explaining the battle
I religiously fought
the reason I could not turn away
the thing that I've been trying to say:

"You are the light I saw
when God created woman."

The Puzzle

Can you imagine walking in on her
Arms thrust gracefully to the ceiling
Revolving, rejoicing in the very feeling
Like a liberated cabaret performer
Opening her soul to the world?

Knowing nothing outside of that moment

In a chance encounter, I learned the truth about her:
She is her secret

Suddenly I could see with utmost clarity beyond her
Endless layers of protocol and good manners
Carefully crafted status updates and swear-free tongue
Resting restlessly within the storm of her calmness
Existed a phoenix
Twirling and turning to the rhythm of her feet
Letting loose a wildlfire that blazes across her of
Yearning and of youthful colours

An undercover lover of gypsy tunes and late starry nights

Dont ask me how I got to see her dance
As moments like this are more about chance
Not blinking your eyes in a moment of truth
Capturing forever the glorious portrait of youth
Exposing that beautiful wild thing within
Resting restlessly in her dancing rhythm...



For you, no.4... Happy Valentine's Day... Love, The Stranger.

The Compliment

"Something true or i walk-
...just ONE good thing."

Now you're five again,
fidgeting in your
yellow summer dress
a size too big
barefoot in a puddle
of one put-down
too many

This is just how we fell in love
but with roles reversed

"I wasn't saying-"

"No, Lucy, you're delaying,"
slaying my manhood
with your jaded sensibilities,
"... say it
just one good thing...
please!.."

You're 14 years old
desperate and defiant
longing to be the boy
your father wished for
but constantly haunted
by your budding breasts
that arrest you
in a world without justice

"Lucy!.."

You stare at me
21 and bewildered
the youthful roundness
starting to sharpen out
into crow's feet
before me
as the gravity of
my demolition solidifies
in your eyes

This is just how we fell in love
now it feels rehearsed

I turn and walk away
never looking back
no longer hoping
my throat is choking
on the words unsaid
that my gritted teeth
locked in
to preserve some painting
of you

my Lucy at 32

I turn to walk away
but you reach out
"Hear me out,"
you grasp
but then you say,
"Being with you
is better than
not being
with you....."

Resolutions

You'd envelope yourself into me
for comfort
for pleasure
release
But my hands were molded coarsely
of questions
of fears
of needs

So when we slept, we lay in parts
And when we danced, we bruised our hearts
the song is over
the tide is in
but i promise to never lie again
and say that I don't love you...

I washed your hair soulfully
with calm
with tenderness
affection
but you only let me skin deep
for sense
for logic
self protection

So when we laughed, it was from our lungs
and when we kissed, we hid our tongues
but this song is over
the tide's come in
i lied before
and will never lie again
I love you now
as I loved you then
but love is always
the beginning of the end...

........................................

for the girl i should have married... we couldn't quite figure it out but i'll always belong to you... just looking for the courage to come find you... Happy New Year Q... Love M.

My Jajja, The Painter

Jajja said Youth is the colour of leaves
green with the envy to know
my Jajja saw colours in the wind
but never knew the colour of snow

She said pain is the colour of earth
a stain only time can remove
Jajja's laughter was a rainbow though
a colour that was made to soothe

She used to call us her little painters
said our colours were yet undefined
Jajja passed on in late December
her colours run through our hearts and mind

She would have liked you, my Jajja
"A Beautiful One," she would have said
"but beauty is the colour of danger!"
and your lips are battleground red...



Thanks for getting me back on here, M.B.

Savannah Mural

Don’t take the call
This night could be all we have to live on
Before our memories get cloudy
And the world around me
Becomes my life away from you

There’ll be no teary promises
I couldn’t have asked for a truer heart
So let’s not taint the night
With the very voices driving us apart
Let’s paint elephants across the ceiling
And soak in each feeling
So deep
That this night will never go to sleep

Let me into your secret
Hold fast to this moment
So your heart can keep it
All your days
Let me paint a Savannah mural
Across your womb
So that even when the darkness looms
You’ll recall what love gave us this night



My special girl
Coming together on a blanketed floor
Couldn’t find a truer love in all the world
And yet no one’s hurt me more.


...I understand your commitments and sense of responsibility... but just once, i wish you didnt make me feel like everything else in the world comes before me... comes before US... just once i'd like to know that WE mean more.

Learn to hurt

Learn to say "I'm hurting"

when you hurt

and save all other words

for the sun in the sky

mean it when you say goodbye

don't lie to us both

cos it's hard to stay

leaving doesn't make it easier

to walk away

or to forget a lifetime

of painting memories together

watching the last candle burn-

I don't mean to

hurt you when

I'm hurting to say "learn".

Dont Say It

If i'm srpead out on the couch
watching Bad Boys 2 for the umpteenth time
dont say you love me
just cos you wanna flip channels
be upfront with me and see
if i can handle
and dont say it just to end fights
as a form of surrender
or to say goodnight
or cos its the right thing to do
say it cos its true

tell me you love me when it hurts the most
when it stings your pride
to let me inside
cos i'm being a bastard
dont say it as a plaster
when you're frustrated
to patch up a raw wound
cos when it goes septic
saying "i love you" just wont do

and if there's something you've forgotten,
a date you've overlooked,
dont say you love me out of guilt
love is an intricate quilt
of angst and desire and fear and fire
so to say it over and over
robs the weaving of its once unique design
dont say it to prove you dont want someone else
say it cos you know you're mine





say it cos the sun would melt if you didnt
cos the sky would grey over
plantes would collide
and all the greenest trees would turn to ash
say it cos its itching in your throat
like an emotional rash
that you just HAVE to reach and scratch
and quench that burning flame
dont say "i love you" like you say my name
or else you'll wear it out
say it only cos it must get out
cos it must get free




love me always
but dont always say you love me...

Timeless

Ya'll remember coke 45?
as a kid its all hope could buy
and i know ya did the moon slide
young Michael brought the moon to life


a high top when you was gettin shaved
like Kid from that group Kid n Play

watched Ben Johnson throw the gold away
and learn that life is not a holiday

in fact sometimes it be the toughest thing
like to admit that you aint really sing

Milli Vanilli blamed it on the rain
but Rob Pilatus gave in to the shame




remember East Coast Family?
Boyz 2 Men. B.B.D., A.B.C.?

yeah Ayesha on em monkey bars
they live on like some hidden scars





like fightin over Super Mario
wish i could relive that scenario

I watched Superman get paralysed
and learnt everyday's a new surprise







like when Hammer called it Hammer time
dude was sittin on a million rhymes

but he be spendin like a million crimes
they fade away but never fade in time




thats what it means to be Timeless....

Old School Love

My Old and Grey
we’ll laugh and play
and text each other through blurred sight
and arthritis

I’ll keep you warm
when the blanket seems too far
I’ll wrap you in my arms
and guide you to that star
we wished upon in our youth
burning galaxies away
as undying proof
of a love that lives old and grey.



My Old and Grey
I’ll hold you tight as you hum our song
your voice will transcend keys and hearing aids
and our spirits will dance along
to the timeless comfort of an evening sky
rocking to and fro, just you and I
our song carrying through the night forever
the culmination of a lifetime together
back and forth, we’ll rock and sway
to a love that lives old and grey.


I will love you each and every single day
and say it over and over so you’ll remember
even when that star burns out, Old and Grey,
our love will live on in the embers…


Yes... of course this is for you... freakin out much?.. Relax... one anniversary at a time... love you... M.

I Would Have You One Last Night

Before you are taken
allow me to awaken
that passion inside of you
that will be buried
inspite of you
when you get married

Let me this one kiss
to forever remind you of a bliss
that soared, raw and untamed
burning young and fierce
long before you were renamed
and your fire fell on deaf ears

I would have you one last night
then you may douse your flame with propriety
and train your spirit no more to fight
yet your freedom does not die with me
for beasts are merely sleeping when it's cold
truth is in the secrets left untold...

Headin Out to Heal

She's headin out, ya'll
& that's just how it is
you see a girl's got dreams
n a man's got his
sometimes they just dont intersect...
so i'll scale mountains
while she hones her intellect
and we'll grow stronger as a team

She's headin out ya'll
cos thats just how she's feelin
the crust of romance is peelin
and its more than lust in our hearts
so we both gotta play our parts
which means lettin go and spreadin out
to see her headin out to elevated plains
where the content of the paper
outweighs the bulk of it
so she aint gotta sulk n shit
cos i missed our anniversary
but yo, thats just the hurt in me
burnin me to leave her with the restless plight
of worryin about a bullet-proof vestless night
as i hold down a double shift
You see, Hope is a true lover's gift.

She's headin out ya'll
O Mighty One, may You deliver
that point where 2 dreams shoulda intertwined
but scattered apart by cosmic design
may You, every moment i'm not with her,
may You bring us closer to the middle of that spectrum
so she aint never wonder why she upped n left him
n i dont never curse her Valedictorian colours
she's settin sails to that wide ocean of inherited knowledge
she's headin out ya'll,
my Queen's off to college.

Lovers Fight

So we fight sometimes
not cos anything's wrong
but cos i think i'm right... sometimes
n she dont agree

which pokes the beast in me
brews up a storm
that over-rides the norm
of even the most volatile hurricane

but love is a hunger
love is a pain
so when words are exchanged
that would force the strain
to stress a dam

boy leaves the room, in steps the man
when she lovingly plants a kiss on my cheek
forgiveness is in the words we do not speak

Sometimes i dont even know we're fighting
but once she scratches, i start biting

and then there's yelling
and something's telling me
this has escalated into a lover's spat
where neither of us backs down
we turn up the heat
turn off our feet
so we're suddenly on our backs now
locked together like a lover's sandwich
long forgotten the hurtful anguish
to err is human
there we lay
man and his woman.

Endlessly Surprising Tree

Nobody knows who you are
but i can try to understand
let me learn to love each tender scar
as i paint you with the tip of my hand
teach me your story
let me read the book of your journey
to becoming this endlessly surprising tree
of fruit and fun and pleasure and pain



share with me the history of your name
and the path of your people
tutor me to dance as your equal
so we might dance our way to the nearest star
or let our feet's rhythm carry us to the desert sand
Nobody knows who you are
but i can try to understand


And if you should falter or feel weak
I'll learn to listen when you dont speak
so dial my number when you have nothing to say
we'll soak in the static
as troubled times wash away
if you show me how, i'll learn to read
all we have is all we need
and all we are is who we bleed
so this is is where I stand
Nobody knows who you are
...let me be that man.

Two Lovers

Lips cautiously part
weak in the knees
scared in the heart
Two lovers meet in an evening shade
strong as they will
not strong enough to walk away
close as a kiss to being
close as a scratch inches away
from the itch
lips tenderly touch
Two lovers meet on a winter day
strong as emotion
too strong for them to stay
lips unknowingly part
lips that echo the initial spark

close as a boy to the sun
with melted wings
but sex...
Sex changes everything...

Inspired by this moving James Gray film entitled Two Lovers starring Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow and Vinessa Shaw.